Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
