wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize