I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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