you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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