To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
