I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
