If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
