its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
