Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
