your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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