She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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