But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
