who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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