i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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