im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
