You can't special order awesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
