so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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