Just fell off a train. Bad.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
