I love black thongs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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