Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I smell stomach acid.
im holly from the hills drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dear god my vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
