weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
