Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize