I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
