she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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