He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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