they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
