wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
