guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
