Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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