I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
