my mouth tastes like poor choices
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We need to get me chipped asap
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