Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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