just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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