i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
