bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
