Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
