I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
