That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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