my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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