You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
