Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it because I queefed?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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