I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
