PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
