i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
