I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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