ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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