i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
the liver wants what the liver wants
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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