Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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