I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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