Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
