i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
