didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
