Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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