Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
