It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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