I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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