Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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