haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I deserve this hangover.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
