I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize