I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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