but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She bit a glass in half.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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