watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
