Sponge bath it is.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize