Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
